Happy Childhood Days – PART II

One of the everyday rituals that we never got tired of watching during our holidays at our home town, was the milking of cows by Rayar Uncle. Morning he came too early for us to watch the ordeal. By the time we woke up, the milk would have been collected and ready to be given to the guy who came from the milk society. The surplus milk, after procuring enough for consumption for all the members in our house, would be given to the milk society.

The society guy came dressed in a basic cotton long leg shorts in kakhi and a white shirt, similar to the ones police orderlies wore those days. I am not sure whether he was supposed to wear that, though. He carried a lactometer along with him. Usually, he checked the milk with it to see if the milk was devoid of water. It had nothing to do with his trust in our people, but was more of him performing his mundane duty. Then he measured the quantity of milk with a measuring cup and poured it into the can he had tied to his cycle. The amount of milk taken by him (number of cups) would be noted in a diary by my aunt. On seeing us he used to exchange pleasantries, as we could be seen there, only during our vacations.

Rayar Uncle came around 3.00 pm in his old rickety cycle, to milk the cows again. When we hear him call out for my aunt, my brother and I used to run outside to make sure that we don’t miss anything. My aunt gave him two vessels, one big and the other small. My cousins never felt this ritual interesting as they were very used to it, because they lived there after all. There were two sheds full of different coloured cows. There were two bulls and two buffaloes also. Totally there should have been approximately 12 cows, I suppose.

Rayar uncle went to a cement tank, where water was stored from wells. Every day, early morning, Elias Uncle used to come and fill all the cement storage tanks, big cisterns, barrels and brass pots with water. One of his jobs was to clean all the tanks. Each tank had a small hole at the bottom, which was fastened with a stopper made of cloth. He removed the stopper to dispose the residual water stored the day before and cleaned the tank with new water drawn from the well, and finally fixed the stopper into place. Those days, water was drawn manually from wells. In our home, a think rope was used for it, which passed through a large wooden pulley. One end of the rope was tied to a pail, and the other end was held by the person who drew water from the well. It was fascinating to see Elias Uncle draw water from the well, which was pretty deep, in five or six swift yanks.

We followed Rayar Uncle fervently to the tank. He filled water in the small vessel and headed towards the shed in the east. The shed reeked of fresh cow dung, urine and wet straw much as it was cleaned twice a day by Kamaraj annan. We grimaced involuntarily and held our breath, letting it go only if we could not hold it any further. Rayer Uncle went beside a cow breathing easily, and gave the cow a slight pat at the side as if to reassure that it’s just its friend there and no one else. He asked us to keep a distance of about two feet from the cow and maintain silence. He squatted beside the cow and cleaned its udder with the water from the vessel. He then reached for a bottle containing castor oil, kept on a shelf on top of the shed. He poured a little amount of that oil in his palm and dabbed the tits with it.

The preliminary preparation was over. By now we would have slowly advanced towards Rayar Uncle and squatted beside him to get a better view of milking. Rayor Uncle would be so engrossed in his daily grind that he would be oblivious to our existence. He held the small vessel in-between his bent keens and slowly inched forward such that the vessel was directly below the tits. He then squeezed a teat with his thumb and forefinger of his right hand so that the milk streamed into the vessel as a frothing white liquid. He repeated the same with his left hand squeezing the teat parallel to it and continued squeezing the teats alternatively in an animated manner. He released the teats only after he made sure that a little was left for the calf, if the cow had any. If not, he continued with the act until only a small amount of milk came out of it. Next he repeated the procedure with the other two teats. As soon as the vessel was filled with the warm frothing milk, he emptied it into the larger vessel. We usually stayed till he milked two or three more cows and then ran off to watch or do something more exciting.

My Mischievous Darling

I can’t believe that my darling son has grown so much. He is going on thirteen. Oh my God!! My bundle of joy has grown so much and I can see the teen changes in him. The way he talks, acts, dresses up, answers back - everything has changed. Sometimes, I seethe with rage at his aloof and impervious attitude and sometimes try to control my laughter hearing his remarks, which I feel are too mature for his age. I have to accept the fact that he is not a KID anymore. That is very sad! Being a bright student all this while, I can see his grades going down gradually. He seems to be more interested in cars, music, movies, bats, clothes, internet and other gizmos than his studies. I can understand that it is the natural metamorphosis that happens in boys, but I find it happen a little too early in the case of my son.

Yesterday, he was studying for his science test, and I could see that he was not concentrating. Hence, I sat beside him with a book in hand to make sure that he at least browses through the lessons once. I can see from his expression that he was not too happy. By around 9.30 pm, he told that he was done with his lessons. I asked, “But Abhi, you have not practiced drawing the diagrams. Diagrams are very important.” He replied, “Mom, it is so easy. I know it so well.” I was not happy after all. I persuaded him saying, “At least draw the diagram of the heart once, dear.” He turned a deaf ear and was busy arranging his books in his bag as per the next day’s timetable and getting ready to sleep.

I tried hard to control my anger and my urge to shout at him. Of late, he has developed this habit of doing anything after being shouted at. I couldn’t shout also because my mom was with me, and she feels that I have lost all sense of decency by shouting like that at the middle of the night. She had heard me shout like that many a time. As she was already asleep, I rolled my eyes and let out the order, biting my teeth. He twisted his lips in turn and took a paper reluctantly. In two minutes he said that he was done with the diagram. I was surprised. “Let me see the diagram,” I asked. He tossed the paper at me. God! The diagram didn’t look one bit like a heart – nothing was proportional. He had marked the parts all over. I chided him saying, “Abhi, Is this a heart? It looks more like a frog to me.” He replied me with an addition and a comment to the diagram - refer the diagram above. I can’t help laughing.

For those who can't comprehend what it is, he has added a head to the heart and antennas to the head, and commented as "Geetha Anand - the inhumanely cocktail animal."

Friendship

The word “Friend” itself brings warmth inside me, a smile on my face and a sparkle in my eyes. Who is a friend? To me at least, a friend is a very special person. A friend is someone with whom you can break your boundaries and be yourself. You can trust them completely. A friend is more than blood relationships. You can call them anytime you want, do anything you feel like and be you. It is because; they are the people who have understood you completely.

All my friends are a paradigm of friendship. But such friends are hard to find. I am so very lucky to have a few of such true friends to whom I can cling on to. My friends worry for me, feel happy for me, and are there for me at all times. They serve as pillars of my life. Friendship is based on TRUST. If there is a breach of trust, then the pillar itself starts wobbling. Then your life collapses. You need to rebuild your life and it takes a very long time.

I don’t let go of my friends that easily. The rift happens when you expect everything from a friend, and the other person does not want to reciprocate. But then, these were people who had been reciprocating all the while and one fine day they decide to be otherwise. Else, how would I have become friends with them after all? They would have been the ones who were desperate to become my friend, and once they come to understand my weakness, they make use of it. They take advantage of my friendship. They feel that, I will always be there for them, come what may. No, they are wrong. I stoop to the lowest level to get it going. But, at some point in time, there comes a realization in me that there is no point in proceeding further with such a relationship. Then I decide that it is time to move on.

The agony you need to go through at such times is harrowing. The wound might heal, but the scar remains forever. I take friends that deeply. Once bitten, twice shy. So, I tend to suspect people who want to be really friends with me. Various thoughts come to my mind. I ask myself questions like, “Do they want anything from me?”, “Is that why they want to be friends with me?” etc. Sometimes, you lose out on real friends because you become over guarded. No one likes to be friends with someone who lays rules and protocols. Friendship knows no boundary. I feel like an excited child, when I am with my friends.

John Leonard said, “It takes a long time to grow an old friend.” Of course, it is so true. Only your true friends follow you till the end. They don’t expect anything from you and they always wish well for you, wherever they are, and however you are. There is absolutely no necessity for a friend to share everything that happens in her/his life with you. But, whatever they share with you must be true. From childhood, I had a special meaning for friendship. I remember, some of my classmates introducing me to their parents as “This is my friend, Geetha.” But, inside I used to say, “Hello, but, I am not your friend. I am just your classmate.” So, the perspective of friendship differs from person to person. Each one has their own definition for friendship.

I have some wonderful friends, who love me from their heart, and I can feel it. It is mutual, I would say. When I am down, the first ones to think of will be my friends. Friendship is such a wonderful thing and to have true friends is a God given gift. I feel sorry for people who don’t know the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. Friends are people whom you can rely on at times of difficulties and needs and people with whom you can share your joys. Life is pointless without a friend.

Happy Childhood Days – PART I

Childhood days are something which we can never forget. Those are memories to cherish forever. Wish I were still a child – something everyone would want to, am sure. During our summer vacations, we used to visit our dad’s hometown in Kanya Kumari. It is a small village called Thickanamcode. We used to spend our entire summer holidays there, sometimes extending the holidays even after our School reopens.

Thickanamcode is a beautiful village. Our family was living in Tanjore, confined to a 4800 square feet plot, and we used to feel wonderful going to our hometown. Four of our uncles lived in the house with my grand mom. It was a great joint family. Holidays used to be so very different then. No summer camps, no tennis coaching, no swimming classes, nothing whatsoever. Just playing, playing, and playing. Swimming was in ponds filled with lotus flowers. However, I was never good at swimming and I hate the feel of fishes running across my legs. The stems of lotus underneath used to give me an eerie feeling. I had this incessant feeling of a water snake twining around my legs. So, I would say, I never enjoyed getting deep into the water. But, I loved to watch my cousins dive into the water and try all sorts of tricks. It was just lovely to watch the pond filled with lotus, but to take a swim in it, I never felt groovy! The most pleasurable was our short walk to the pond. The fertile marshy lands filled with ferns and greenery was so pleasing to the eyes. I remember all of us tripping happily to the pond.

We never used to stay indoors during our holidays. We loved to run around the vast acres of land surrounding the house, playing various games. One of our favorite pastimes was to chase the turkeys, so as to hear their awful gobble. Oh! What fun! There were two big coops full of hens, cocks, turkeys, female turkeys, guinea hens and lovely chicks. I used to love the guinea hens. They looked so bewitching, though they too had a vile cackle. We used to hold the cute little chicks in our hands and pass it between us carefully. There were five of us cousins, more or less of the same age. Each one used to have a pet chick, which we were supposed to nurture.

Every day at about 7.30 a.m, my aunt used to open the coop, and we saw the birds flitting out to freedom. At sunset she made sure that all the hens were back inside the coop. She called out for them with a “ba ba ba” sound, beckoning them to follow her, and the hens followed her like the rats behind the “Pied Piper.” If we tried to mimic the same, it seemed to have the opposite effect. They all ran helter-skelter. We were supposed to follow her silently without disturbing the hens that were following her into the coop. She was like a magician, casting a spell on those hens, so that they follow her in all goodness. Finally, she reckons them into the coop and shuts the door. Not even a chick will be left out. If I think now, it seems so marvellous!

God or Karma?

How many of us are mature enough to take life as it is and live happily, albeit our hardships and sufferings? Not many I suppose. When you face adversity, you tend to get more attached to God.You seek the help of God to overcome your miseries. It really helps. The feeling that God will never let us down, keeps us going. I believe that God gives more suffering to people whom he loves the most. That makes you His special child. This is one view point.

But, then sometimes you get the feeling, “Is there really a God?” If so, why is there so much suffering and pain in this World - Natural disasters, accidents, murders, crimes, etc? No one has control over the happenings of life. It seems to be already decided by someone. Is that someone, God? Each and everyone have to face the consequences of their doings. Is that so? I can hear many people say a big NO.

That is when Karma comes in. How good you had been in your previous birth, gets reflected in your current life. If everyone can just understand this fact of life, then am sure everyone will strive to be good human beings. No one can escape from the punishment for all his/her wrong doings. If not in this birth, surely in their next birth they have to face the consequences. This explains why some criminals live a comfortable and contended life – Karma of their last birth.

So, enjoy life to the fullest as it is. Nourish your mind with good thoughts. Think well about others. Try to influence people who are striding away from the right path. If not, stay away from them. At least, you will not be influenced by them. Love everyone and hate no one.

Insecurity in Life

Insecurity is an awful feeling. People can be insure about so many things – Career, family, friends, relationships etc. Why are people insecure? Is it because they don’t have confidence in themselves? Yes, that is for sure. Insecurity brings out the worst out of a person. How do insecure people tend to react? They are in a constant mission of putting down people whom they consider as a threat, so as to promulgate their caliber and worthiness.

These people are mostly self-conceited and bombastic in nature. They tend to tell lies and indulge in gossip. This kind of scenario is more prevalent in corporate environment – more so the case of your immediate bosses. If your immediate boss feels that you have more skills and are technically sound than him, he goes on the defensive. He tries to deride you in front of others, mostly in a meeting or the likes of it. You might have felt as to what kind of a person he is? But, it is his insecurity that makes him act like that.

What about insecurity about friends, family and relationships? The basic principle remains the same. You don’t have confidence in the bond, and you feel that any time it might break. Why so? Something would have happened in your life that makes you feel that you are not worthy of the relationship. You have a feeling that they are too good for you. But, you never let the others feel how much they mean to you. In due course you become callous and insensitive. You constantly try to make the others feel that they are not the only one that you need to hang, and there are so many people waiting to be your friend or whatever.

Are values influenced by our surroundings

How many of us would agree to that that our values are what has been inculcated in our childhood days and they are deep-rooted that it can never change? Of course, it does change as we grow up. We are not the same. Being brought up in a small town, in my high school days, I used to think that going to movies with friends is not something that nice girls do. I laugh at myself when I think about it now. That was how I was then. But now, I am influenced by my friends, by the culture of the city I live in, by my colleagues etc. I know that I can hang out with my friends for a whole day and there is nothing wrong in it. I just love to

One thing is that, I never had the urge to ask my dad even once like, "Appa, Can I go for a movie with my friends?" my dad. If I think about it now, I am sure my dad would have obliged, had I asked him. I wanted to portray myself as a nice girl to the community and hence I thought it is fine. I had my own fun with friends at school, when we meet at home etc. etc. Was I scared of the society? Maybe

Now, I see that I have come a long long way. I can reason out by myself as to what I am doing is right or wrong. As per my conscience, if I feel whatever I am doing is right, I just do it. But, I do make sure that whatever I do does not hurt the sentiments of my loved ones. I feel I have changed so much.

But, does your basic values change. I would say NO. What are the basic values? It is a relative term. Maybe, I would say the core values. Somethings like telling lies, cheating, exploiting others etc. Then again I would say that it depends on your brought up.